A Horse For Harriet

When you are invited to go riding you must make sure that the horse lent to you is not one that has been involved in illegal activities like being lent by a third party to your friend who has invited you to ride it. Your friend could after all be a crook or someone of dubious reputation and may not be paying for the upkeep of the horse or its stabling and may not even own the saddle and bridle with which the horse is 'dressed'. To be caught riding such a horse is of course a truly serious offence and deserving of not only the equality guru Harriet Harperson's censor if the mount you were lent to ride were a mare or worse still a gelding but also of several column inches of articles and other media reports castigating you for this truly awful offence. In future I would advise Cameron to have every horse he's lent for hunting or hacking to have it hoof printed by the Metropolitan Police with the results put through the special horse hoof digital identification system known by its acronym SHHDIS to make quite sure it's not on the wanted list. Some may say you need never go through this rigmarole as you can always tell a shifty horse by the way it glints at you out of the corner of its eyes, stretches its nostrils, snorts, minces about on the tips of its hooves and generally tries either to nip you or to turn its backside towards you to give you a kick. Such horses should immediately be hobbled, handed over to the police and deprived of all lumps of sugar until they have gone through rehabilitation. Better still to be handed over to Saint Harriet for gender recognition equality programming until her garden has been fully manured.